Review: The Possession - I Don't Get It...

The Possession

I'm not exactly sure where to begin when talking about this movie. Maybe I should start with the extremely cliched intro with the faint foreboding creepy child voice. Or how about the overbearing loud sound effects to ratchet up the faux tension that does absolutely nothing in the way of actually succeeding. Then again I could start with the fact that this was "based on a true story". If you couldn't already tell, I was not a fan of this movie at all. When the movie begins we open to a woman staring at a box that is of course cursed or haunted. How do we know this? By the aforementioned creepy child voice. When the woman attempts to take action against it we are then treated to a fairly violent scene that shows the power that this box actually possesses. We are then introduced to Clyde (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) who is the coach for what I can only guess is a college basketball team. After work we learn that he is separated from his family when he goes to pick up his children Emily (Natasha Calis) and Hannah (Madison Davenport) From his wife The Closer or Stephanie (Kyra Sedgwick). We also meet the new guy in their lives Brett (Grant Show) who is a dentist and apparently a hypochondriac. While the children are with their father, they stop by a yard sale and Emily eyes the box from the intro and is instantly drawn to it. After they purchase the it, things begin to go horribly wrong for not only the family but the movie as a whole.

When Clyde and the gang return to his newly purchased home, Emily becomes increasingly attached to this box that just looks like it should not be toyed with IMO. If you haven't already guessed, it begins to take over her and the movie becomes more and more mind-numbingly unbearable. Emily starts to hear voices, becomes detached, violent, turns pale yada yada blah blah blah, you get the message. At this point the movie wants you to try and figure out what's going on and why its happening. Here's the thing though, it's hard to give a fuck about anyone in this movie because there is no emotional resonance whatsoever. I wouldn't have cared if everyone died in a train wreck. Had that happened, I would have been able to leave the theater earlier. Well maybe not Clyde because he was treated like garbage and since they never said what he did to deserve such treatment, I just assumed it was because his family were a bunch of dicks. Anyway, Clyde realizes there is something terribly wrong with this box from hell and he seeks help from a Jewish priest Tzadok (Matisyahu) to save his daughter. You can pretty much guess what happens at the end and I no longer want to talk about this movie so I'll move on.

If there is one bright spot in this movie (and by bright I mean not complete shit) it would have to be the performance of Emily (Natasha Calis). She did a fairly decent job playing what we perceive to be a possessed little child. Other then that this movie was just bleh. All in all, this is easily one of the worst horror movies I've seen in recent memory. I honestly don't know what the hell it's trying to be. Is it a horror comedy, a serious horror movie, tongue in cheek, I really have no clue. Walking out of the theater I was just baffled by what I had just watched. Passable acting, a story we've seen millions of times before, characters you don't give a damn about and about four different sub plots that lead to nowhere. Nothing about this movie was good. I really can't stress that enough. If for some reason you decide to you want to see this. Go to the most ratchet movie theater in your town so you can at least enjoy the audience participation because it will happen. For everyone else, I would stay as far away from this movie as possible. I guess I've got to give it a rating so here it is.

Go fuck yourself!! out of 5

[easyreview title= "Review of The Possession" cat1title="Terrence's Rating" cat1detail="Overall Review" cat1rating="0.5" overall= false]

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