Nerd-Core Failing: The Fall of Geek Royalty, MC Chris

null MC Chris is Dead... is the name of one of MC Chris' albums and maybe it foretold the future.

Do you know of MC Chris? He's a high pitched geek culture rapper made a bit extra famous by his roles as MC Pee Pants on Aqua Teen Hunger Force and the infamous Hesh on SeaLab 2021. Over the years he has toured A LOT, almost constantly. He sells his CDs mostly at shows and online through iTunes and Amazon. He's been at this over ten years now with songs consisting mostly of geek references like Sci-fi, fantasy, gaming and how hard life is as a geek growing up. This dude's fanbase is pretty big and rather loyal. I used to be one of them... used to.

Before I get into my story let me tell you why we're even talking about this guy today. There is an article on Kotaku about an incident Tuesday night were MC Chris had Mike Taylor, a regular contributer, kicked out of the venue due to a tweet Taylor had just made. The contents of that tweet?

"Dear Nerd Rapper opening for Powerglove/mcchris. You're not good enough to pander to me. Better luck next time."

Having seen the tweet MC Chris walked on stage, not during his own set, and asked who wrote the tweet. When he got an answer he asked security to remove Mr. Taylor from the show. Sound petty? Well here's where I get to tell my story.

Almost a year ago a friend of mine, Jeremy, talked me into seeing his show at a local club, the Ottobar. It was a great show. We got good seats in the balcony to the left of the stage where you are absurdly close to the action. Jeremy and I are not quiet people by nature and we can get rather... energetic when we want to be. So there we were, cheering for each act and even getting the crowd to chant for each guy. We sang along A LOT and just had tons of fun. During the act MC Chris did two things. One, he told the audience about his father struggling with cancer and how hard it was hitting him. Two, he called Jeremy and I douches. We thought he was kidding as that was about all he did in our direction.

So the show ends and we get in line to talk to him. Jeremy wanted a picture and I wanted to relate to him my family's struggles with cancer and how there is always hope. Well Jeremy got his picture but then MC told us to go away because we were, "Annoying and rude." Ok, that's messed up. I even told him why I wanted to talk to him and he told us to leave. Whatever, there were other performers there so we go to their merch tables and chat with them, Jeremy even bought a couple of CDs. Just then a guy from the club's security came up to us and said we had to get out because MC Chris said so. We were puzzled and the security looked confused to. Jeremy asked if he could finish up and bouncer-dude said yeah. Then we left peacefully. The anger didn't really set in for another fifteen minutes or so.

So this dude kicked two huge fans out of a rock show after the show was over just to be bitter. I tried to chalk it up to the dad/cancer thing and recently was getting over my dislike of him when this other business came up. With it, other fans started talking and apparently this is something he does all the time. So now this guy is getting a ton of backlash from his fans which causes him to post the following video to YouTube: I'm Sorry

So there's that. You can judge for yourself but at the 2:27 mark he shows us what I like to call the Tears of a Clown. This video is only happening because of the tremendous backlash he's now getting from previously loyal fans. He's been treating people like crap for a while but since it was only one or two people at a time in a crowd and deliriously happy fans no one really cared. Now he crapped on the wrong person over a tweet that wasn't even directed at him. He writes songs about how much bullies suck and failed to realize he was becoming one himself. Now I believe he's sincerely sorry but not for the right reasons. Just the words he chooses to use are all wrong. He seems to simply be scared he might lose this thing he's spent so long building.

Now I'm not one to wish someone's means of making a living would suddenly vanish. I'm not hoping his career goes in the toilet. However he needs to learn a hard lesson. Maybe he can make a change. Maybe...but he has a long road ahead to prove to people that he doesn't suck anymore.

Until I get my personal apology I'll continue to tell people what kind of douche he is.

Editorial: Power to the P***Y

After watching the documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed and listening to Nerdpocolypse’s episode What Dreams are MAID of?!, I am left with some lingering thoughts about our fascination with bound women or MAIDens (metaphorically and literally).

The documentary, which is streaming on Netflix, profiled the series of exploitation films made during the 60s, 70s, and early 80s in the Philippines “where stunt men came cheap, plot was obsolete and the make-up guy was packin' heat!” Legendary B movie producer Roger Corman produced countless films with images and plot elements that would end up on the cutting room floor today with the current ratings system where women were repeatedly raped, bound, caged, tortured, etc.

Ultimately, these women overcame this treatment and took the power (physical and sexual) into their own hands, transforming into gun touting, kung fu fighting topless women. FYI: This is how you talk about this kind of imagery in academic, feminist terms at dinner parties or yuppy gatherings.

A segment of Nerdpocolypse’s Episode 32, discusses the lingerie or nude maid service available in Lubbock, TX. While these women are not technically bound, they are placed in a subservient position. Still, the power is their own because they are being paid (for the cleaning of course).

And the theme of bondage continues: current best selling romance novels by EL James - Fifty Shades of Grey, Catwoman and her costume+whip, Wonder Woman with her wrist bands+lasso, Princess Leia with her chained slave costume, Star Trek’s Orion Slave Girls, and Maggie Gyllenhal in the film Secretary. Even in the upcoming Avengers film, a clip reveals Black Widow bound in a chair when she gets the call to report to Shield. She then quickly dispatches her captors, but unfortunately for some, she keeps all of her clothes on.

Spoiler Alert - Avengers

Of course, all of these examples walk a very fine line and when it is crossed, people react. Read the reviews of the romance novel on Barnes and Noble for Fifty Shades of Grey or examine reactions to Nicolas Cage’s film 8mm, and you can quickly tell how people’s opinions differ on this topic.

So who is in control? Who really has the power? Men or women? We women all know that men are confounded by our mystery. So perhaps they are trying to “harness” it so they can understand it. Throughout history and society, religions and cultures have sought to control us yet we are strangely still drawn to the idea of being contained having to fight our way out. Even the best seller and box office smash Hunger Games presents a strong female lead, Katniss, whose life is dependent on fighting to survive while still being symbolically bound to Peeta. Throughout the remaining novels, she internally struggles with this “bondage” that is forced and then later willingly accepted and embraced.

So when will women take the evolutionary leap forward and move past the allure of being bonded to men symbolically and literally? Or is it just too much fun or strangely liberating to give someone else the power and the steal it back for ourselves?

Editorial: Ranma 1/2 and Turbo Teen: Sex Change to Oil Change

“More than meets the eye” is line from the theme song for the Transformers that informs you that more lies beneath the surface than what might be originally seen by the naked eye. The phrase also refers to the transformation that occurs when the Transformers spring into action. Transformation is not something that only happens for robots in cartoons; it has been attributed to humans as well. This article deals with two examples from the 1980’s and 1990’s Turbo Teen and Ranma ½. The goal is to look beneath the surface of these cartoons at the underlying sexual and gender implications for their protagonists.

Fans of anime are familiar with Ranma ½. In this series, cold water changes Ranma into a girl while hot water changes him back into a boy. This anime was based on a manga series that was serialized from 1987-1996. The sex changing main character is cursed due to an accident that occurred during his training. During training, Ranma fell into a spring in which a girl drowned. His father Genma is cursed because he fell into a spring in which a panda drowned. While Ranma becomes a girl his father becomes a Panda. We won't go into the implications of that in this article.

The second cartoon under consideration is the 1980’S cartoon Turbo Teen. Turbo Teen is the story of teenager Brett Matthews who accidentally crashes into a lab while driving his red sports car. An experiment is occurring when he crashes into the lab and he gets hit by a molecular beam becoming fused with his car. The scientist conducting the experiment was Dr. Chase (as in car chase I guess) along with a government agent named Mr. Cardwell. Because Brett is fused with his car he has the ability to transform into the car when he is hot and transform back into Brett when he is cold. He and his friends use his new found abilities as Turbo Teen to go on crime fighting adventures. Although the series only ran for twelve episodes, the zeitgeist of its images still remain.

Running Hot and Cold

To run hot and cold is run back and forth between two extremes. In the case of these cartoons we have a boy changing to a girl and a boy changing into a car. Ranma’s change is a common change for transsexual individuals. For transsexual individuals their assigned sex does not align with their psychological gender. The difference is that Ranma never stays one sex or the other. (S)he changes based on the temperature of the water that (s)he is presented with. (S)he literally runs hot and cold.

Psychologically this is something where gender becomes an important issue. The term intersex has be coined to describe those individuals who have sexual characteristics of both males and females. However, this has been defined as a disorder rather than a way of being. The Intersex Society of North America sought to abolish this term in order to validate the status of intersex individuals. The argument is that just because an individual has the sexual characteristics of both male and female does not mean that they have the gender identification “issues” that go along with that. For some individuals they may feel more male than female or vice versa. However, the goal of the Intersex Society of North America was to give validity to the status of intersexuality as a way of being rather than a disorder. It brings new meaning to the They Might Be Giants song SEXXY.

So, if Ranma is an intersex individual, both male and female, what ramification does this have for our good friend Turbo Teen, aka Brett Matthews. My argument is that there is something else going on here psychologically beyond a simple transformation into a car. The change that occurs is much deeper because instead of a sexual shift, we have a fusion of two objects. There is a more sexual undertone to this transformation. Why do I say this? For one thing Ranma changes when he gets cold water splashed on him…Brett changes when he gets hot and I would add bothered.

There is a group of individuals who have a special affinity for their cars. This group is known as mechanophiles is attracted to cars, emotionally and physically. Like Brett they become fused with their cars; however, in this case it is in the biblical sense. One man Edward Smith claims that he has had sex with over a thousand cars.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said. "Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful. "I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change." He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Edward first had sex with a car at the age of 15. Since that time, he has had sex with over a thousand cars. Oil changes become real sexual innuendo here. Apparently his sexual appetite does not stop with cars. He states that his most intense sexual experience was with the helicopter from Airwolf.

So what does this have to do with Turbo Teen? I would argue that psychologically Brett wanted to be with his car and therefore became "fused" with it. When he gets hot (and bothered) the two become one. He is able to talk through the speakers of the car. Instead of simply being the car he is both the car and Brett simultaneously.


Show me your Oh face!

The other part of this equation is that people get inside Brett. Not only does Brett desire to have sex with his car he can make it a threesome, foursome, etc.  You be the judge. Take a look at this animated gif using clips from the show.

For all you outraged Turbo Teen fans out there give me your thoughts. I am ready for them!


Man admits to "having sex" with 1,000 cars


The Nicolas Cage Theory

Over the past few years my view of Nicolas Cage has changed dramatically. I was a casual fan of some of his work, but hated even more of it. His catalog of movies has not been the best. Cage started his career off in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and it was off to the races ever since. His rise has been steady since the early 80s. Looking over his career we can see he averages about 4 movies a year these days. For a name worthy actor this is a good and steady body of work. Often the complaint about Cage is his lack of reasonable acting. Sometimes there is screaming or whispering for no apparent reason. The word overacting is often used to describe roles in which he is involved. I don’t disagree at all with these observations. However, I think there might be something that people are missing. Allow me to propose my theory: Nicholas Cage is the greatest troll of all time. For those of you who don’t know, a troll is someone who purposefully pretends to be one way to attract controversy. They are not genuine in their behavior, but rather, attempting to gain a certain response out of the audience.

Exhibit A: Leaving Las Vegas

Nicholas Cage wins an Oscar for his performance as Ben Sanderson, a drunk who’s life is spiraling out of control until he meets a hooker with a heart of gold. Cage succeeds here not because he was lucky, but rather because he Caged it up just right. He knew what he was doing.


Exhibit B: Matchstick Men

Cage once again excels at playing a clinically diagnosed OCD sufferer. He wants you to think he is acting…he isn’t. This is what trolls do, they pretend. Matchstick Men is less of a film about scam artists and OCD but more of a week in the life of Nicholas Cage documentary.

Exhibit C: Vampire’s Kiss

It is impossible to believe that an actor could be this insane and keep getting work. The amount of good actors out there how is he still working? The yelling in the below clip is just madness.


Exhibit D: Face Off

There is no other movie that brings all of Nicholas Cage’s trolling to a single point than Face Off. Cage is on fire with his performance as Caster Troy. John Woo seems to sit back and just film Nicholas Cage pretending to be a villain, but he isn’t pretending!!! Have we learned nothing from his past work? I truly believe he had his face taken off just for fun. He is a super villain of this world, the Joker come to life! “Peach, I could eat a peach for hours”…WHO SAYS THIS!!! I bet it wasn’t even in the script. You can’t script crazy!!!

(Sorry about video quality here)


Does Nicholas Cage pay the directors to let him just do what he wants? Are the directors in on the joke? Is Hollywood in on the big scam? Are we a victim of the most epic troll that has ever graced the silver scene? The man even said he based his portrayal of Ghost Rider on his pet cobra snakes! Yes, cobras...the man is screwing with us. He may be the very best at it. A modern day Andy Kaufman...pure genius or just filmed insanity, you decide. Lastly, here is a video of Cage actually being the most honest we have ever seen him.